...with a backpack half packed, ready to toss it in my truck and leave.
...wishing I didn't own so much crap so that leaving wouldn't be so difficult.
...wondering why its so difficult for me to be happy anymore.
...knowing that the main reason I am leaving is not money, or stuff, but because of one person.
...knowing that "that one person" knows who they are (because if they don't, then it's not worth staying).
...wanting to cuss and cry and just leave.
...wishing I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.
...wishing I could go back out to the comfortable spot I'd found on the loveseat to read.
...getting evermore irritated with the things I keep forgetting to do.
...wondering what it will be like to have my own house, my own food, and my own parking spot some day.
...packing the last few things in that backpack, just in case.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Inconsistency
That is what describes my blogging pattern.
That also describes my emotional pattern lately.
In some good news, I have been having the time of my life with the love of my life. We've been having so much fun together, wedding planning, hanging out, yelling at the dog, getting not-on-our-diet ice creams together. I simply cannot wait to marry her. It's going to be the best day of my life.
I upgraded (or changed, I should say...no, no, it's definitely an upgrade) my computer to Linux Ubuntu. This operating system is GREAT. I cannot believe how much smoother, more powerful, and more user friendly it is than windows. I'm proud to be an Open-Source PC.
I'm hitting the woods hard this year hunting. Or at least that's my game plan. The Woman's mom said they'd pay for my tags if I gave them some deer meat, which is an alright deal for me. I am planning on giving all my deer meat to either the Woman's family or my parents, since Daddy isn't hunting this year.
On job search fronts, I don't have a full-time job, but I did get extended at State Park until November 1. That means two more months of predictable pay, and two more months to find a big boy job.
I found the motorcycle I want. Now it's just coming up with the cash for it.
I made my Christmas List last night. Hardest thing I've done all year, I think. I realized I don't want too much more in life. Everything I asked for was basically a luxury (assuming my parents know that I am still wanting soap, shampoo, etc., etc.), and I'll be able to survive without any of it. Oh well, it was still fun, and I still cannot wait to open everything up on Christmas morning.
Well...that's about it. There is other news and other things on my brain, but nothing I feel like putting into words. Time to go grab another cup of coffee and maybe start cleaning my stuff up from around the house (my grandparents are coming in on Monday). Adios!
That also describes my emotional pattern lately.
In some good news, I have been having the time of my life with the love of my life. We've been having so much fun together, wedding planning, hanging out, yelling at the dog, getting not-on-our-diet ice creams together. I simply cannot wait to marry her. It's going to be the best day of my life.
I upgraded (or changed, I should say...no, no, it's definitely an upgrade) my computer to Linux Ubuntu. This operating system is GREAT. I cannot believe how much smoother, more powerful, and more user friendly it is than windows. I'm proud to be an Open-Source PC.
I'm hitting the woods hard this year hunting. Or at least that's my game plan. The Woman's mom said they'd pay for my tags if I gave them some deer meat, which is an alright deal for me. I am planning on giving all my deer meat to either the Woman's family or my parents, since Daddy isn't hunting this year.
On job search fronts, I don't have a full-time job, but I did get extended at State Park until November 1. That means two more months of predictable pay, and two more months to find a big boy job.
I found the motorcycle I want. Now it's just coming up with the cash for it.
I made my Christmas List last night. Hardest thing I've done all year, I think. I realized I don't want too much more in life. Everything I asked for was basically a luxury (assuming my parents know that I am still wanting soap, shampoo, etc., etc.), and I'll be able to survive without any of it. Oh well, it was still fun, and I still cannot wait to open everything up on Christmas morning.
Well...that's about it. There is other news and other things on my brain, but nothing I feel like putting into words. Time to go grab another cup of coffee and maybe start cleaning my stuff up from around the house (my grandparents are coming in on Monday). Adios!
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